The World Wise Arrive in Bangkok

We left the dust, macro fauna, and con-artists of East Africa for clean, polite, smiling Bangkok. We arrived in the super modern Bangkok airport, and to our surprise, our bags had arrived and official tourist information directed us to a bus which took us exactly where we wanted to go! Thailand is made for traveling.

We found a clean, basic $10 hotel room in the tourist section of town. Everywhere in the streets vendors sold delicious foods and colorful clothing. We were surprised to find that we could shop at these stands without being accosted by desperate sellers. What a luxury to our tired minds! We bought some much needed new clothes and set out to see the city. Bangkok is child's play to a person who just traveled in Africa.

We walked in the humid morning air toward a series of large Buddhist temples. We talked constantly about Africa, which we were only starting to process. A smiling and unimposing Thai student greeted us. He was curious about us and informative as well. He told us that the large temple in front of us was closed to tourists due to a police holiday. Serendipity was in the air. He suggested some other temples to visit and even drew a numbered itinerary for us on our map. "Did you watch TV last night?" he asked. Of course we hadn't. "Well you must also go to Thai Silk." We assented. He found us a tuk-tuk and even haggled the tuk-tuk driver down for us. With smiles, we embarked on our tour.

First, we went to a stunning temple in northern Bangkok. The grounds had several temples, each one ornately painted, with shining gems inlaid into spiked roof edges that resemble flames. Inside the main temple was a large, serene, smiling, golden, shining Buddha sitting in Lotus position. We made customary bows and entered. All around the temple paintings depicted impermanence: a tiger eating human flesh, vultures hovering above a carcass, a meditator next to white human bones.

When we returned to the tuk-tuk, it was parked in the shade next to a rotund Thai man reclining with a cigarette. As the tuk-tuk driver went to the restroom, the man informed us that he was actually a lawyer in London. He was in Bangkok visiting his family. Cindy and he talked law a bit, and finally the conversation got around to Thai Silk. He was animated. "Did you watch TV last night?" Apparently we had really missed something special. The man described how he has all his suits shipped to England from Thailand, and that once they have your size, they can always make you a cheap, new suit. When the tuk-tuk driver returned, the rotund man wished us well on our travels. In Bangkok, everyone looks out for everyone else.

From there, we arrived at Thai Silk. "You are lucky!" the salesperson burst out, as he showed us luxurious fabrics. As we had already learned from the overweight lawyer, this was a one time deal for tourists; normally, only the Thai are allowed in the shop. "We normally do wholesale, but with the slump economy, we are opening this deal up to tourists." They brought us water and we looked at the cheap and good quality suits. Ultimately, we realized that this was not the time for suit shopping. As we left, the classy salesman transformed into a hawker, and tried to sell us herbal soap.

That was a sign of strange things to come. The tuk-tuk driver informed us that we had to go into a jewelery shop for him to get free gas. We obliged, shopping for 2 minutes and then returning. Next, he took us to another suit store, where he informed us that we needed to spend at least 10 minutes for him to get the free gas. We did. The suit sellers brought us coffee and we pretended to covet Armani.

Next, the driver dropped us off on a busy street and told us to walk up a narrow alleyway. The alleyway opened up to a crowded temple, ornate buildings, food vendors, a court for playing something like hackey-sack basketball, preachers, and a towering 50 foot Buddha facing east.

When we returned to find the driver, he was gone. We looked for him; we hadn't paid. He was nowhere. Strange. We still had three stops on our tour. We had no other option but ask strangers where we were.

Slowly, as we walked back to our hotel, we began to unravel the true nature of the events of the afternoon. We were abandoned mid-tour, shortly after hitting three shops. We had met two extremely friendly men, both of whom had hyped Thai silk, and both had used the curious phrase, "Did you watch TV last night?"

Duped! The whole "tour" was a scam. We had spent the day ensnarled in the vast suit-seller's conspiracy, whose agents lurk in the shadowy corners of temples all over Bangkok. Our tuk-tuk driver abandoning us had elucidated the true nature of this path of seemingly benign strangers.

The "student" initiated the sale. With a simple lie and polite interest, he got us into the tuk-tuk. He began to grease the gears by mentioning Thai Silk.

The "lawyer" poured butter on the roast. He won our trust, and then became the hype-man in the parking lot of an obscure Buddhist temple.

The tuk-tuk driver abandoned us because we were not buying cashmere suits or jewelery. Once he had collected his handouts from the stores for bringing us in, he no longer needed us. He dumped us on the side of the road at the closest temple.

We found our way back to our hotel and thought about our day. We realized that this was the best scam possible! We toured around in a tuk-tuk, saw some amazing temples, drank complimentary beverages, and woke up to our own naivetee in a benign way. We felt lucky as we walked into the humid night air to feast on delightful and spicy Thai food.